One of the things I get asked is how does a Skicology session go?
Well, one of the things clients start to pick up on fairly quickly is that we never talk about the ‘problem’ they think they have. For example:
Client: why haven’t we talked about my problem? We just seem to be having a nice conversation.
Me: How long have you had this problem?
Client: A few years. Why?
Me: And in those few have years of living with it and analysing it have you come up with an answer?
Client: Well, err, no. It’s actually got worse and even more frustrating!
Me: Well if you’ve spent years analysing the problem, there’s no point discussing it as if analysing worked then you’d have come up with an answer by now, or, at least things would have got better rather than worse [Hint: side effect of analysis is problems worsen as you dig a deeper hole for yourself].
Me: We could discuss what you think is the problem, but that just means we have to spend more time together, which will cost you more money and all that happens is you get really good at the problem. You see, for me, a problem shared is a problem doubled. Do you really want that or do you want it to go away?
Client: Err, I’d prefer it to go away! And quickly!
And when we don’t talk about the problem but how we create our experience problems start to disappear of their own accord. For example I had a ski instructor who 2 days after our session said to me I’ve had this problem with my skiing for 17 years and it’s gone away! What did you do? And to this day I’ve no idea what the problem was as we never discussed it!
And the second thing. Most people love their problems. They love to share them, wallow in them, analyse them, and involve others in co-miserating with them, often for years or decades. And I rob clients of that!
For me, all I want for the client is to gain some insights on how life works and their pivotal role in creating their experience. I don’t want a revolving door of clients where they keep coming back with the same problem. I want for them to discover their solutions with the least amount of time and energy (including money!)
If after reading this you know someone who has been bending your ear for years about their problems with skiing, you could always gift them some Skicology sessions as a birthday or Christmas present. More info here