I often get asked about confidence, or can I give someone confidence. The answer is always no. And here’s why:
We are told, or we tell ourselves:
- If only I had more confidence…
- I’ve lost my confidence…
- I need to find my confidence first…
As if the confidence thing we looking for is outside of us and we need to have it first before doing anything, let alone go skiing.
And we go on a search for the elusive confidence, sometimes looking for confidence tricksters who say they can teach you confidence, when there is no-one and no-thing that can teach you or give you confidence.
It’s all a trick. A confidence trick.
And I’ll tell you why:
Firstly, confidence doesn’t exist – it’s a made up thing.
Confidence if you think it does exist, is within you, not external to you.
Confidence is a ‘post-hoc rationalisation’, for example, an interviewer asking an athlete after an event; ‘you seemed pretty confident today’, ‘yes I felt pretty confident’. [An example of ‘feeling your thinking’ I often talk about]
And there’s a clue in the last one. Confidence is not a pre-requisite for a good performance. Confidence is an effect of a clear mind (as all the other characteristics in the header word cloud!). And a clear mind is your default position. That is until you start to cloud it with all the statements I made at the start and your searching for something externally that you think needs fixing.
Stop looking for something outside of you – a confidence strategy or technique or mantra. Step away from the confidence tricksters, and stop telling yourself you need confidence. Just get on with your skiing and then see what emerges…
Like everyone else, I cannot give you confidence. However, I can tell you where it comes from within you.
Your thoughts, comments and shares are always welcome